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I wrote this song during a very dark time of my life. It was about a year and a half ago. Pretty personal, as it's about my struggle with my mental illness.
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Artist picture
Just a poetry geek that happens to also like rapping.
Hello. I am simply a beaner that likes to rap. I wouldn't even call myself a rapper per se, I'm a writer. However, ever since I heard "Hard Knock Life" by Jay-Z when I was 5, I fell in love with hip-hop. I could tell you many things, hype myself up to make me look like a star...but I will let the music speak for itself. I could tell you a bunch of stuff about my tracks but...just shut up and listen, shut up and listen son.
Song Info
Charts
Peak #764
Peak in subgenre #33
Rights
Jose A. Ortega 2012
Uploaded
February 10, 2012
Track Files
MP3
MP3 4.6 MB 156 kbps 4:05
Lyrics
Chorus: How must I be free From anxiety? What can this be that keeps On eating at me? Colder than a winter wind Underneath my skin Why can't I remember when I had no anxiety? Why can't things be the way they were before? Before I found myself on the losing side of an inner war I clearly remember some happy days Now we could drown in the lake That pours forth from my face I falter, caught in a daze. I pace, I cry, then I shake And wonder how much more of this I can take Before I completely break. Daily these demons choose to battle me My shoulders are weighed down by much more than just gravity Anxiety makes me fear constant tragedy Depression has damaged me Colder than a winter storm, It has ravaged me oh so savagely It's sad to see Me as just another casualty Leaving me wide awake and paranoid And it seems all joy and innocence has been destroyed I try so hard, but these feelings I can't avoid. Chorus The experts tell me it's just a chemical imbalance But damn am I tired of everyday being Such a challenge But somehow, some way I must break free But I try so hard, can't you see? What more does the world expect of me? I can't win, though I play all the card I'm dealt It appears I'm trapped in a mental hell Truth be told, I'm afraid of myself Out of the blue, I feel so anxious Even those closest to me feel like strangers And I just can't relate or communicate As if they speak a different language All day angrily full of anguish Bashed, battered, bruised and defeated Been almost broken and I can't beat it Caught in a vice vainly wishing I was just dreaming Still I valiantly try vanquish every inner demon Chorus I can't run, I can't hide This anxiety eats me from the inside The only place where I can reside Is in the confines of my messed up mind This weary and shattered soul Wants nothing more than to be whole Scratching sad poems into the wall of The cage in which I'm trapped in Searching within myself Finding new areas which I'm mapping I'm out of luck and tired Sounding sad and uninspired Going nowhere fast Like a whip that's filled with gas But rolling on some flat ass tires In search of something beautiful But feeling ugly and unsuitable Wasting anger at myself, but it's reusable. Welcome to I Vs I, the musical Chorus
Song Likes
Comments 4
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Da Artizt
Sep 06, 2012
I can tell you work hard on this track everything is good homie the hook and the lyrics are deep no doubt about it but you gotta work on sounding more clear on some words its hard to make out what you saying but overall this track is REAL good. Keep it Up Artizt 714! West Coast!
FhyreMann Productions
Jun 07, 2012
I agree wit Shamba...The vocals at some points were hard to make out...Other than that this is nice...To me personal tracks are the best because they're from experience and alot of emotion comes from these songs...N like i said before u have grown since the last time i been here n thats been awhile...
Shamba Menelek
Mar 08, 2012
Lyrically I think you got better. My only gripe with this and the song with Annabella Is that I had trouble hearing some of the words but what I heard was moving.
SemiMotoBeatz
Feb 29, 2012
This is the best i heard from your bro! keep working hard its paying off